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What are some of the benefits of
divorce mediation?
Mediation is a way of getting your divorce over more
quickly, less expensively, and in a way that allows everybody -- both spouses and children
-- to go on with their lives much more quickly and easily. It's a way of collaborating,
getting win-win solutions, rather than the zero-sum gain of divorce litigation. A mediator
looks at the divorce from the perspective of the entire family: "How can everybody go
one with their lives as quickly as possible, in a way that allows everybody to go one with
their lives?" People often ask me, when they are not sure whether or not to mediate,
whether or not they should try it. My response is that there is nothing lost if you try
it. One of the advantages of mediation is that you are there voluntarily. If you decide
you want to proceed in another way, you are always free to do that. But, once you started
litigating a divorce, it's really hard to go in another direction. The practice of divorce
mediation in New Jersey, however, is unregulated, which means someone can claim to be a
mediator, and have no training or experience. So be careful about how you choose your
mediator. You want to find somebody who's been doing it for a long time, someone who has
training in reputable institutions. You want to find somebody who has mediated literally
hundreds of cases. Those are the kinds of questions to ask a perspective mediator before
you decide to use his or her services. |