MEDIATING YOUR PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT

Why have prenuptial (premarital) agreement?

Prenuptial agreements, which must be entered into prior to the wedding, primarily provide for what happens in the event of a divorce or the death of one spouse. Historically something done by the wealthy, increasingly people entering into a first or subsequent marriage choose to have a "prenup" for a variety of reasons:

• since divorces are unpredictable, they want to decide what would happen in that event at the beginning of the marriage, when they are in love;
• they believe clarifying how each of them feels about certain issues is good for their relationship;
• they don't want to leave issues of inheritance or divorce up to the legal system to resolve;
• they need to provide for others, such as children from prior relationships;
• they're concerned about the treatment of premarital assets in the event of a divorce;
• they don't want concerns about a possible divorce to interfere with their marital relationship;
• they want to provide for their spouse in the event of their death, etc.

In the months leading up to your wedding, the last thing you want is an adversarial negotiation of a "prenup." Drafting a "prenup should be a reaffirmation of your relationship, not a bare knuckles fight. Mediating your prenup is an opportunity; to discuss issues you probably should discuss prior to the wedding anyway. Your prenup will be just as binding as if you had let the attorneys do it their way!

Twenty year ago I represented a client in a prenup negotiation that fell apart, leading to a last minute cancellation of the wedding. I now know that there is a better way to do it! I love to mediate prenups, an enjoyable change of pace from divorce mediation. I'll help the two of you by educating you about prenups and your options and by keeping the two of you focused on the legal issues that you want to deal with in your prenup in a productive way that respects your relationship

Mediating a prenup is more expeditious than the "old-fashioned" way, the adversarial process, each of you hiring an attorney to represent you in the negotiation. But it is best to start the process at least six months prior to the wedding.