FAQs
| These faqs were first published in the New Jersey Divorce Magazine
and are reprinted here with their full permission. |
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Video FAQs
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| How
does a divorce attorney differ from a matrimonial attorney? |
| A divorce attorney sees the divorce from
the perspective of his client. His object is to get more for his client, and less for the
other side. Unfortunately, that approach doesn't always work, because there is an
adversarial attorney on the other side as well. A mediator looks at the divorce from the
perspective of the entire family: "How can everybody go one with their lives as
quickly as possible, in a way that allows everybody to go one with their lives?" 
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| What are
your views on divorce mediation? |
| If you're thinking about a divorce, you
should be thinking about divorce mediation. Mediation is a way of getting your divorce
over more quickly, less expensively, and in a way that allows everybody -- both spouses
and children -- to go on with their lives much more quickly and easily. It's a way of
collaborating, getting win-win solutions, rather than the zero-sum game of divorce
litigation.
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| How
do you find a good certified divorce mediator? |
| The practice of divorce mediation in New
Jersey is unregulated, which means someone can claim to be a mediator, and have no
training or experience. Be careful about how you choose your mediator. You want to find
somebody who's been doing it for a long time, someone who has training in reputable
institutions. You want to find somebody who has mediated nearly hundreds of cases. Those
are the kinds of questions to ask a perspective mediator before you decide to use his or
her services.
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| How
should I approach creating a prenuptial agreement? |
| Engaging in an adversarial process to do
your prenuptial agreement is the worst thing to do leading up to a wedding. A mediator can
facilitate communication between the 2 of you and help you do your prenuptial agreement in
a non-adversarial way.
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| Tips |
| People often ask me, when they are not sure
whether or not to mediate, whether or not they should try it. My response is that there is
nothing lost. One of the advantages of mediation is that you are there voluntarily. If you
decide whether or not you want to proceed in another way, you are always free to do that.
But, once you started litigating a divorce, it's really hard to go in another direction.
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